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We have been rescuing ourselves and revolting against the oppressor throughout history. Contrary to the popular belief that only great white men rescued us from slavery, it was the Haitian Revolution from 1791 to 1804, the only successful slave revolt in history, that instigated the global abolishment of slavery. Many self-defined “allies” wear the phrase and ideology like an article of clothing, easily discarded when it’s no longer fashionable to wear.
One of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves is learning how to create closure within rather than expecting other people to give it to us. But while I've said The Good Ally is easy to follow, I don't mean it's an easy read. Racism and anti-racism is a difficult topic to process. It took me a while to finish this book, simply because it took time to take in everything I was reading. The big question though is: has this awareness translated into action in our workplaces? I think there are some signs that it has, but we must keep the momentum going. Being an ‘ally’ is an important part of this. What makes a good ally?
Being an ally is not an easy thing for everyone to do and it is not something that you can just stand there and say “I’m an ally for race equality”. It’s about taking serious action and putting some real energy into those actions. Stop the pattern: be careful where you step in the future. When it comes to oppression, we want to actually change the “footwear” to get rid of privilege and oppression (sneakers for all!), but metaphors can only stretch so far! Bad apologies are performances meant to protect pride and ego. They exist to make the apologizer feel and look good, while defending their intent.
While you’re already on Google getting to grips with every letter of the LGBT+ alphabet you can explore the history of the LGBT movement. Getting to know the history of LGBT activism is an empowering act in becoming an LGBT ally. As well as honouring the effort and sacrifices of those that have come before, it’s important to appreciate how far we have come in the struggle for equality to fully understand how far we have left to go. 3. Discover the challenges facing the LGBT community today Imagine your privilege is a heavy boot that keeps you from feeling when you’re stepping on someone’s feet or they’re stepping on yours, while oppressed people have only sandals. If someone says, “ouch! You’re stepping on my toes,” how do you react? Being comfortable talking about race is also a key element of a good ally. As the BITC guide highlights, only 38% of employees said they were comfortable talking about race in the workplace. So, what makes a good ally? There are lots of guides and advice out there and one of the best I’ve seen is the Business in the Community’s anti-racism and allyship in the workplace guide. It contains simple tips like recognising the advantages of privilege, being an active bystander and being ready to be vulnerable. Being an active bystander
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Finally, this is a resource to help anyone considering allyship better understand the pros and cons of what being an ally entails. Allies understand their role in collaboration with people whose lives are affected daily by systemic oppression. The apology receiver may choose to never interact with you again. Either after you give an apology or before you give it. You have to find a way to make peace with that. Do not pressure or shame someone into accepting your apology. This is about working alongside, supporting, accepting you are going to get it wrong and showing up anyway. It means accepting that anything worthy of seismic change will not happen without discomfort, consistency and a whole heap of courage. Do not participate for the gold medal in the “Oppression Olympics” (you don’t need to compare how your struggle is “just as bad as” a marginalized person’s)
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