If you want to be a person who is taken seriously and seen as a leader both in business and socially, you must learn how to communicate with a tone of certainty. The good news is it’s not that hard. You don’t have to become smarter, gain twenty years of experience, or achieve anything else first. You can just start doing it now. Speaking with certainty is just a pattern of voice tone and body language. Hesitation: You often wait for the “right thing” to say (and thus speak way less than you normally do). I loved the content of this book! A lot of details on our conditioning to become nice and how the environmental pressures start taking us to not be ourselves under the notion of you are not nice! Soon enough we start becoming timid because we don’t want to be perceived as not nice or a-holes. All in all we are definitely being manipulated on daily basis under the magical spell of BE NICE and NOT NICE book is a legitimate way to break the spell

In the first chapter, he tells you that his goal is for you to eventually see the term "Nice guy" and think of that as a terrible disgusting thing that you would never ever want to be. His goal was definitely accomplished by the end of that book. I was the biggest nice-guy/push-over that I knew. Everywhere. Work, school, relationships, you name it.You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be someone who hates peaches.” - Dita Von Teese At this point, any new pain or discomfort I feel, the first question I ask myself is, “what could be upsetting me in my life right now? What feelings might I not want to feel?” Then I start feeling emotions directly, and magically and consistently the pain subsides. I have the right to say yes to having sex, to enjoy sex, and to pause during sex to have a conversation. while this book is instructional — it offers a lot of exercises and action-steps to help you stop people pleasing, to speak up, and to be more authentically you — i think the most helpful part of it for me was the way it forced me to challenge my view of myself, my life, and my relationships. i journaled more while reading this than i have in literally years because i wanted to really engage with the material and i found so much hidden under the surface that i didn't even realize i was dealing with. more than that, with all the examples from the author's life, i felt like i could really make a change because he did that change first. he gave so much encouragement, so many kind words that i didn't know i needed to hear, and the combination of all of these things gave me the courage to really start changing myself and my life. (this sounds like an infomercial but i'm 100% serious yall!)

In this great life, you’ll read good points that will help you in many areas of life. You’ll stop being Mr. Nice guy and start living the art of extraordinary confidence. Through his typical style, Dr. Aziz uses engaging stories, humor, and disarming vulnerability to cut through the nice conditioning and liberate the boldest, expressive, authentic version of you. If you struggle with telling people no (I do sometimes), speaking your mind (I’ve never had this problem), or asking for things (this is a biggie for me), then you will like this book.

This book gives you a new pair of eyes that you can never close. You see things you never saw before. You realize just how much people apologize for ANYTHING that doesn't warrant an apology. again, it isn't a miracle, i'm not suddenly Better. but this changed so much for me and i really truly cannot be more grateful for this book. it feels like a real concrete step in my healing process.

I have the right to share my perspective, even if someone might disagree or temporarily be uncomfortable.I have the right not to have to anticipate others’ needs and wishes. If they have them, they can express them. I would have given this 3 stars and a more nuanced review but then I got to the part where he approaches a woman on her cell phone to ask her what she’s talking about. He did this as a dare/exercise in experiencing awkwardness. Honey, no. There are so many layers of why a man shouldn’t do this and it’s hard to imagine he’s not aware of them. Instead, his actions stated that his self-improvement was more important than her sense of safety. Context exists. You can choose to ignore it but that doesn’t make you bold and authentic; it makes you a bit of a jerk. There’s a solid takeaway here for people who take on too much responsibility for the feelings of others, but I wonder if the advice within is really all that healthy. It’s based on (lengthy) personal experiences and anecdotes. You certainly might still get a lot from the book just by asking yourself questions as you listen, but I have a genuine question: Is there a book that provides the same self-reflection without the cringe? I’d be interested in that book. I see the words "nice-guy" and it induces nausea and repulsion. Ok maybe not to that extent. But I definitely don't see "nice-guy" the same as I used to. Not at all.