Between: A guide for parents of eight to thirteen-year-olds

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Between: A guide for parents of eight to thirteen-year-olds

Between: A guide for parents of eight to thirteen-year-olds

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See if you can find other new starters and arrange a lunch date with them before term begins. Local social-media groups are good for linking up with other parents. Try to buy any uniform needed several weeks before the start of term, so that your tween can wear it around the house, including new shoes (blisters in the first week aren’t fun). If they must wear a tie as part of their new uniform, keep practising at home until they are a pro at tying it. Sarah specialises in ‘gentle parenting’ (she is often credited as being the founder of the movement) and childism (the unconscious discrimination of children in society). Let’s get this out there right now. Gentle parenting isn’t permissive parenting. For those who are new to gentle parenting, perhaps practitioners of more mainstream methods, the most common criticism is relating to supposed permissiveness. They are wrong. Boundaries, limits and discipline play a crucial role in gentle parenting. If you do not discipline your child how can you be truly respectful of them? Time passes in the blink of an eye. Surely it was only yesterday when that warm, mewing bundle was placed in your arms, eyes fixing on yours with all the intensity and knowing of an old soul who has lived many times before, yet in a tiny body, so fragile and new. Through sleepless nights and weary days, you came to know each other. Your world and your priorities shifted, and you slowly assumed a new identity that centred upon your child. A child who orbited you like a satellite, with you the safety of a home planet and the constant pull of gravity keeping you tied as one. Their dependence on you sometimes felt so very heavy, so all- consuming, and there were days (and many nights) when you reminisced and wished for your carefree past.

Between by Sarah Ockwell-Smith | Hachette UK Between by Sarah Ockwell-Smith | Hachette UK

He’s in full support of the law change, ‘because a child’s right to protection from physical assault (a legal protection adults enjoy) matters more than a parent’s right to assault their child.’ Reassure your tween that all new starters will have worries, even those who look cool, calm and collected on the outside. Help them to understand that a degree of apprehension is totally normal with such a big transition ahead of them.Why Your Baby's Sleep Matters (Pinter & Martin Why It Matters 1)". Pinter & Martin Publishers . Retrieved 19 April 2016. Speaking of societal expectations, gentle parents understand that many of the beliefs society holds about the behaviour of children, at any age, are unrealistic. Much of what we know about children comes from outdated personal opinion. Many of today’s common parenting practices are not only at odds with the needs of children in the present moment, but they may possibly inhibit their development in the future. Gentle parents aren’t afraid to question commonly held wisdom, no matter who it is coming from. Gentle parents aren’t afraid to be an advocate for their child even when their behaviour is frowned upon by the mainstream. Gentle parents have a close connection to their children which allows the children to feel safe, respected and valued. In turn this nurturing environment raises confident, free thinking adults. As the anthropologist Margaret Mead says, never underestimate the difference a small group of committed individuals can make. What if the world embraced the notion of gentle parenting, would it change the world? I think it might just do! Full of practical parenting advice that will give you the tools to guide your child through this time’ Daily Express Can you remember how you felt in the months before starting at secondary school? I felt excited, but also worried and scared: fearful of the size of the school in relation to my comparatively tiny primary school, worried about getting lost and anxious that I wouldn’t be able to keep up with the work. I was also concerned about making friends and fitting in, frightened I would get the wrong bus home and nervous about navigating lunchtimes in the huge canteen. Of course, my fears were unfounded; within a month, I had formed new friendships, knew my way around easily and was loving the challenge of learning new subjects. The same was true for all my children. But despite knowing that our tweens will be fine, we must not dismiss their fears. Do let your tween’s form tutor and whoever is responsible for student wellbeing know if they are feeling very anxious before starting. Often, schools have special settling-in procedures for tweens who they think will struggle.

Between: A guide for parents of eight to thirteen-year-olds

Of course, the above tips have focused solely on helping your tween to cope with the transition to a new school, but it’s import- ant not to forget what a big experience it is for you, too. Try to attend any new parents’ information evenings and take advantage of offers to chat with form tutors before, or soon after, your tween starts school. Most schools will run a parents’ evening towards the end of the first term, which will give you an opportunity to meet your tween’s teachers and hear about how they are settling in. I think one of the hardest things about being a parent or carer to a tween at secondary school is having far less involvement with school than you had previously. It feels strange not knowing their teachers well or what room they will be in at any given time. You do get used to the change, but it can often take parents longer than tweens to feel at peace with the transition.We were still children, for all that we thought we weren’t. We were in that in- between place, the twilight between childish things and grown- up things.’ Lost Boy: The True Story of Captain Hook , Christina Henry

Sarah Ockwell-Smith Sarah Ockwell-Smith

Chapter 13 is the final chapter, which is no coincidence. It feels right to leave you at the age when your child becomes a true teenager – the official end of the tween years. Parting is the theme of this chapter: how to let go and give your child wings to fly (especially when you feel like holding on tight) is something many struggle with. How much independence is too much, or too little? And how do you cope with your own feelings as your child reaches towards looming adulthood. Although this book is about your tween, it is also about you as a parent, and it feels fitting to end with a chapter that concerns you as much as your child. After all, you will always be standing at one end of that bridge, watching with pride as your child continues their journey through the in between, but ready and waiting with open arms should they need to return to you again. Full of practical parenting advice that will give you the tools to guide your child through this time' Daily Express I found the chapter on raising a financially literate tween one of the most interesting and am already putting ideas I read into place to open these conversations and teach money management. There is a lot of food for thought as well as practical tips on how to prepare our tweens for real life.

The CEO of NSPCC, Peter Wanless, doesn’t agree with the criticism that this is ‘new age dogma’ that will lead to a ‘snooping’ culture. In my opinion none of these are effective forms of discipline. They all rely on inflicting physical or emotional pain, through shame and exclusion. How does a child learn how to behave in a better manner if they are not shown what to do, if they have nothing and nobody good to model or they do not understand what they did wrong, or what they should have done instead? Sarah has authored 14 parenting books, translated into over 30 languages, which have sold over half a million copies. She is currently writing her 15th. It explores key issues, including: why tweens can be moody, rude, lazy, and impulsive—and how to cope with their behavior; what happens during puberty—and when and how to talk to your tween about it; how to navigate friendships and romantic relationships in the tween years; how to encourage good mental health and body image; managing screen time and avoiding common pitfalls; and supporting the transition to secondary school. Baumrind stated that ideally “ parents should be neither punitive nor aloof. Rather, they should develop rules for their children and be affectionate with them. ” Or in other words the ideal parents would walk a carefully balanced line of good responsiveness and appropriate demand of the child, mindful of their development. The definition of this? Authoritative parenting, or as I like to call it: Gentle Parenting.



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